Masa khatankan the anak teruna, malam tu, as the kecik dah fast asleep and my sayang and me still awake, ada cerita bride wars.

Kawan baik yang accidentally are getting married on the same day.

Watching the movie, make me think.

And asking myself.

I ada kawan baik?
Bestfriend?

Do I really have them?
Like the one in the movie?

Sort of..

Dulu masa tadika, kan ada sukaneka, ada la member untuk game make up make up and all, tapi as far as I remember, there's no one actually yang stick with me. I mean, lepas tadika, pergi sekolah yang sama and kelas yang sama during the Standard One. Tak ada. As most of them, they were going to the nearest school and my school jauh sikit. Walhal ada je sekolah sebelah rumah, tapi nak juga tu pergi sekolah yang jauh. Eh. Bukan I yang minta. Budak zaman dulu mana la demanding macam sekarang. Kitaorg ikut je what's the parents think the best.

The reason why I was schooling at Tengku Mahmud's, my abang kakak semua sekolah situ. And it's one of the top school. As mentioned before, my mak abah memang willing to provide the best educations to their children. And lucky me! Tapi sekolah jauh, jauh la juga, as 5 minit if naik kereta, and zaman sekolah rendah adalah zaman yang teramat kasihkan tidur. Kalau boleh, pukul 7.30 pagi pun tak nak bangun lagi. Pernah my mak cakap..

: Hantar sekolah sebelah rumah je la. Malas sangat nak bangun pagi. Dah la duk termenung dalam bilik air pagi-pagi.

I pun tak tau kenapa termenung dalam bilik air. It's like.. Ohh.. Sekolah lagi ke hari ni.. Bosannya! Tapi I jawab balik..

: Hm.. Hantar la sekolah dekat rumah.

Hu. Mana la my mak nak hantar anak pergi sekolah dekat rumah. Ugut adalah lebih. Plus, my mak knows how much I enjoyed the Tengku Mahmud's. Cuba bangun pagi masa Darjah 2 dan 3 adalah zaman paling bosan. Dan juga zaman Darjah 4 dan 5.

Masa kat tadika pun tak adalah member yang kamceng sangat-sangat. Geng main botol vitamin masa break adalah. Time kat tadika je la. Dekat rumah, main dengan neighbour and my cousin. Tapi my neighbour ni, of course la sekolah dekat rumah juga and my cousin one year younger than me. Tapi later, she got the apa ye.. Lompat kelas ke apa.. And she the same class with me. Ok. Ada geng disitu. Still, hari-hari adalah malas nak keluar dari rumah. Sanggup terperap dalam rumah. Takut hitam. Cess. Tak sedar diri yang diri sendiri adalah dah memang tak berapa nak cerah.

Tak ingat since bila.. I guess.. Standard 6, I baik with this friend. Entah kenapa, tiba-tiba one day, kitaorg perang mulut. If tak silap, sebab Izzu datang sekolah naik dengan apa entah. Ces. Ni la the most bodoh reason untuk gaduh with the bestfriend.

Lama sangat I bertegur dengan dia. Just hi hi bye bye. Later I went to Gerik and she was boarding at other collage.

Dekat Gerik..

OMG!
I so in love with Nike.
Ok. Sila jangan salah faham.
I mean, she's the real bestfriend. Kenal masa kat resthouse. Tapi masa tu she got her bestfriend from her previous school and both of them ending up being roomates. I was close with Nike as she's my resources for the assignments. Hhahaa.. Terima kasih Nike! She's one of my classmates. And she sat next to me. My kelas adalah.. Ya Allah.. Sedihnya! Pakai meja yang lipat tu, macam dalam kuliah. Dah la yang buruk. Huduh pula tu. Kelas lain semua ada meja cantik. Kitaorg, the meja comes together with the chair. Sedih. Sedih. Dah nak akhir tahun, barulah dapat meja. Haihh.. Kenangan sungguh.

As waktu riadah adalah wajib di Gerik, Nike and me and some of other friends, selalu pusing maktab. Kitaorg tawaf satu kawasan Bukit Nasah tu. Tu yang nampak spender the boys gantung kat tingkap. He.. And from Nike, I know my kawan karib during Gerik as she was the same homeroom with Nike. Later there's one more clan, my friend from the Scout.

Ok. Ada ramai la yang I close masa kat Gerik, termasuklah roomates dan juga jiran-jiran bilik sebelah, mahupun bilik depan.

3 years in Gerik. Macam-macam hal ada. And as I went to Jasin, the rest of to others collage. Back at Jasin, I met with Nike, again. OMG! Memang jodoh panjang. And during universiti time pun, satu collage. Fuhh.. Fuhh.. Tapi I sekejap je sana as I went to other. Tapi Nike taking other course. Tak sama. So do during at Jasin. Nike adalah satu kelas dengan lelaki-lelaki yang comot dan I adalah satu kelas dengan jumlah budak lelaki adalah minor. Tapi bolehlah, untuk cuci mata. If tak cukup, sila pandang belakang kelas, nanti ada mamat-mamat handsome dari kelas belakang, lalu kelas kitaorg, sebab depa nak serbu Dewan Selera. Hee..

At Jasin, roomates dan wingmates adalah sahabat fly terbaik. Hhahaa.. Ampun Pak Guard! Kitaorg memang kaki fly. Jangan tak sangka budak Jasin perangai macam ni ye. And it's only happens at our wings. If inspection during Sunday, daripada 4 bilik yang ada kat dalam wing tu, yang every single room, ada 4 people, the most, the last room ada 2 then 3 orang je, kebarangkalian untuk manusia yang wujud during inspection masa hari Ahad adalah, seorang. Tu pun roomate bilik sebelah I. If she did not go home that week. And there's cases too, during inspection, satu wing kosong. Lengang. Tak ada orang. Hhaaa..

Jasin.. I met my kawan.

Kawan yang bila I fikir balik.. The one yang.. Tak tau nak cakap macam mana. Everything happens for a reason. Mind you. Ini bukan lesbo ke apa. CUba for one tiny reason, we're fighting. And if you're asking me, I'm glad am having a fight with her. As by now, I really adored the friendship than ever before. Oh. Orang Sheffield. SIla jangan terasa hati. You memang sentiasa ada dihati I. So, sila ingat tentang kasut anak I tu ye.

Tu la kawan fly.. Tu la kawan bergayut.. Tu la kawan meluah perasaan.. And all.
Mungkin, if kita tak gaduh, our life might be turn out different. I might be dont know how to value friendship as I do now.

I've lost my first bestfriend during Primary.
And slowly, am losing my Gerik's bestfriends.
As for Jasin, we're trying to unite but we're a bit ego in this. Well, maybe, I am. The exact word, I dont know how to start it back. It's so scared. I dont want face it again. It's hurting.

Kawan U adalah tak sama dengan kawan zaman sekolah. Zaman berhingus berlengas.
Kawan kerja lagilah berbeza.

Most of people, friends, only during the office hours. Lepas tu, jumpa hanya time ada birthday party or ada makan-makan. As growing older (yes, I am), I dont know what's the real menaing of friendship anymore. Lagilah, dah kahwin, anything, I tell my husband. Tapi, after a while, there's an urge untuk borak benda-benda perempuan. Cerita zaman kanak-kanak. How we dreamt our wedding or how's your partner going to look alike. Anak ikut muka sama and all. Borak pasal zaman sekolah. Zaman kena denda depan longkang at corridor. Memoirs.

I miss my bestfriends.

Honestly, I dont remember and know them anymore.
We're getting apart each day.

Kitalah jadi bahu tangisan and the next day, kitalah ditikam.

Am tired.
Kawan kita sangka, will protect us from everything, silently, doing something that breaking our heart. And we still kept silent about it. Hati ini hancur. There's no place for bestfriend. Eventho I want them so much. I just cant get it. I cant handle them anymore. Am sick of it.

Lean on me during your bad days and leave me alone during my bad days?

Well,
Hello to the world so-called friendship!

Bertahun orang tu jadi kawan in facebook, tapi on certain date, barulah nak bertanya khabar, wish sihat sejahtera and all and yet, we still saying.. Eh, kat mana sekarang? Lama tak dengar cerita!

OMG! That's so 1967!
Orang tu in your friends list, if you really care, tanya la khabar. Dont have to wait till birthday or when bila orang tu susah hati or gembira. Friends are 24/7. Not only during Hari Raya.
Yes, we're busy with our own world. Tu yang I cakap.. I dont know what's the friendship means anymore.. And yet, we dont want to siram-menyiram perhubungan itu. We just watching and watching and the next day, it's already died.

I've met lots of great people in my life.
And if anything happens to me, in the very near time, am glad.

There's nice and great people around me.
And for now, the warmness from those people, just enough for me.
Even I know, orang yang kita sangka, tak ambil tahu hal orang lain, tiba-tiba interrupt our so-perfect life, there's always a chance. Accidentally or purposely.

Kita tak tahu. Unless we're already lost the friendship.
And I learn my lesson.

Kawan karib bukan datang dengan bungkusan yang menarik.
Kadang-kadang, bungkusannya elok. Tapi barang didalamnya, pecah, rosak, berkecai.

Dan itu adalah tugas kita untuk mencantikkannya.
Tanpa mengira luar atau dalam.
Dan juga kata-kata manusia lain.

And yes..
One more. Macam mana ye kita nak start the friendship in nowadays?
Contoh la..
Kenal the A at LRT, balik rumah cerita dekat housemates.
And malam tu pergi shopping dengan housemates, ternampaklah the A, and kita, terus cakap..

: Eh. Tu the A. Tu kawan aku.

Betul ke kawan?
Not that people we met at the LRT?
Seems so simple to making friends these days.
And maybe that's the reason why there's no such thing called kawan hidup mati susah senang.

I need the real friends.
Maybe I should start like the zaman dulu-dulu..
Zaman budak-budak baru masuk tadika, jumpa other kids,

: Nama saya Meow.

: Nama saya Auumm.

: Awak nak jadi kawan saya?

: Nak. Awak?

: Nak juga. Hari ni kita start kawan. Ok?

: Ok!

Sambil salam shake hands.