Erti kata lain, your husband ada 'other half' lain.

Honestly ladies,
You sanggup hidup bermadu? Sharing your husband with other woman/women?
Sanggup?
For legal or illegal?

Now.
Ask me.
I sanggup hidup bermadu?

My anwser will be..

Depends.

Ok. Actually.
Sanggup.
Before this.
Now?
Hell no!

Sebab my reason will be, ok, if you nak sangat kahwin 2-3, let me be the first one. Kira macam, tak kisah la berapa ramai nak kahwin, tapi I nak jadi the first one. Muktamad. Otherwise, I cari lain.

At that time, mungkin I really mean it. And maybe not. No. It's not my sayang ada issue nak kahwin 2-3 or even 4. Just that, before getting married, some things should be cleared. As my sayang and I not from the same U, there's a chance that my other half ada kekasih gelap masa kat U. Kan? There's must be. So, perempuan, insecure adalah perkara biasa and kadang-kadang, melampau juga the insecure thingy tu. Mana la tau kot-kot nanti dah kahwin, tiba-tiba my sayang said, nak kahwin with girlfriend lama juga. Eh.. Meroyan kejap. Tapi tak apa. I'm the first dah. Hhahaa..

Tu cerita I sambung lain hari. Now, I want to talk about lelaki beriman beramal dan bertaqwa dan berkahwin lebih daripada satu.

I know. Ikut sunnah. Tu mesti jawapan pertama bila ada orang tanya, kenapa kahwin lebih daripada satu. Kan?

Are you kidding?
Why dont just tell that suka dekat perempuan lain? Why? Kenapa suka tu jatuh tempat ke-2 or ke-3 or not even mention about it? Why? Afraid of hurting your 1st wife heart? And by married another one, your wife suka? Hati tenang?

In marriage, not everything we can get. Ada orang bertahun-tahun kahwin, still belum ada anak. Ada anak ramai, tapi husband and wife tak ada fixed income. Ada yang kaya daripada segi harta benda dan anak, tapi kurang daripada kasih sayang antara satu sama lain. There's always imperfect. And that's hy we need partner in making of a marriage. And for some cases, one is just not enough.

We've been to a family gathering. There's an usrah the night before and the next day ada sukaneka. The kecik and I didnt take part during the usrah. Dinner barulah nampak batang hidung the baby and mother. And the next morning, kira macam ada sessi suai kenal la gitu. Masa nak tunggu turn for the sessi pengenalan diri dan keluarga, I was amazed by the way the MC's talked.

Lebih kurang macam ni la..

: Now Mr A's turns. That's Mr A and his first wife and their 2 kids. Mr A, bila nak tambah lagi satu?

I mula-mula ingat, tanya pasal anak. Then Mr A..

: Haah. Ada 3 lagi kosong. Nanti akan diisi lagi oleh para ustazah dan dalam misi pencarian calon utk pertambahan anak.

Fuh. Fuh.
Jujur. Bagus.
Tapi, bukankah kita sepatutnya menjaga keperibadian dan keaiban our partner? And as you're the man, maksudnya, nak tambah lagi satu, in this case, isteri, bolehlah you cakap macam tu je about your marriage in front of others? Boleh?

And the rest of the guys just laughing. As it's so funny. Mana yang kelakar? Tambah lagi satu? Or maybe 2 and 3? I know, that's your marriage while am just and outsider. Tapi, consider la your wife kat tepi tu. Jangan la cakap macam tu when the mic at your hand. I tengok your wife tu tunduk je muka. Ok. She's an isteri solehah. Menurut kata suami. Tapi tolonglah jaga hati isteri.

I know my ilmu agama wasnt a tinggi melangit as the rest at the family day. Eh. Ni bukan family I. Ni ada club yang anjur family gathering gitu. And I was really shocked as all the way during the sukaneka, berduyun-duyun para lelaki beriman beramal bertaqwa ni cakap..

: Oh. Ini isteri pertama. Isteri kedua belum lagi.

And ada juga yang menyahut-yahut..

: Ustaz, mana calon isteri nya?

: Bila nak cukupkan 4?

: Mana cukup seorang tu ustaz!

Ya Allah. Hati I pula yang gugur. Even my sayang didnt said such thing, tapi I macam kesian tengok the ladies. Tabah je biar the guys said anything about getting married another one. Especially when the mic dekat tangan, isteri dan anak-anak kat sebelah, laju pula ha yang lelaki ni bercakap pasal kahwin lain. If you nak kahwin sangat, bisik-bisik dah la. Belum kahwin lagi kan? Tak payah la kot nak gebang-gebang. I know, you nak bagi your first wife, payung emas. Tapi please la. Consider sikit. Ye la kan. Bila berkumpul with.. Ehem.. Orang-orang yang berilmu agama tinggi ni, I maybe the outspoken one.

Dalam ramai-ramai, I'm the only one yang sapu sunblock dekat anak tengah padang as matahari tinggi. Yang lain duduk bersimpuh. Tak ada worries for anak. I je la yang gaya pelik-pelik sikit.

Kahwin is not something that we can joke around. Especially bila masuk part hidup bermadu. As most of the ladies there, semua mematuhi undang-undang syarak daripada segi pakaian, dan semestinya menghormati suami and it's very sad enough their own husband dare to talk about such thing in public.

Why?
Because you tahu ilmu agama. Jaga segala kebajikan dan kebaikan, so, there's a ticket to get married twice or thirth or fourth, and annnounce it? Gitu?

Sorry la ye. Tapi ni my point of view.
Bila orang tu alim sikit, topik kahwin lebih mesti keluar daripada mulut. Kenapa? Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. pun kahwin dengan the next wife, years after the first wife meninggal. Bukannya masa wife ada kat sebelah, sihat segar-bugar, yet dah sibuk nak meramaikan ummah. Ye la. Orang berilmu agama tinggi la katakan. Mesti la nak spread the good gens. Beb, iman tak boleh diwarisi. Tapi hati partner tu tolong jaga boleh?

Eh? Mana you tau orang tu tak jaga hati his partners? You selak kain diaorg ke?

Ok. I didnt know about their private life.
They maybe always having great sex, great life and great job. Wonderful with lots of children. Tapi as married lady, I tau perasaan seorang perempuan bila my own partner talking about getting married when he's next to me. Depan orang ramai. If I izinkan pum, I segan. Kenapa kita nak buka kain depan orang? Dah kahwin nanti, nak heboh, hebohkan la. Tak ada masalah. Ni belum apa-apa, baik tak payah cakap. Kesian dekat isteri.

Belum apa-apa, tak semestinya jadi kan?
Yes. True indeed.
Still, if tak ada niat, macam mana boleh terkeluar daripada mulut kan? Or if memang tak ada niat langsung pun, kept it in your heart boleh tak? Hati perempuan ni sensitif. Tabah macam mana pun, jiwa dan hati besi macam mana pun, tawadduk macam mana pun, still, perempuan. Hati menangis tak ada siapa tahu.

Just remember that if you're always following the sunnah, always remember, hati isteri kena jaga. Nak kahwin, kahwin la. Hati perempuan sensitif dan lembut. If now she said, NO! After yearssss, hati tu dah lembut. Tapi believe me, it's a very tawar hati.

Tapi, yang lagi menarik, if husband kahwin lagi satu then both of the wives, doesnt know till the husband died or the husband kantoi ada 2-3-4 wives, once the husband meninggal, yang bergaduh tu, the wives, mesti jadi baik. Silap hari bulan jadi bestfriends. See, lelaki. You're the reason why perempuan bergaduh and thanks to you, when you're die, the relationship blossom to something nice.

Orang kata, tak berbaloi gaduh demi lelaki. Well, if you're asking me, berbaloi if you know hat you're fighting for. Yes, cinta pada Allah is the cinta sejati. Tapi, for me, I need a great partner dalam mencari keredhaan-Nya dan cinta terhadap-Nya.

Yes. I bagi my husband married another one if my sayang nak. Tapi as far as I remember, it's only applicable for one lady. And turns out, my sayang said no. Didnt want another one. Katanya..

: Yang lepas-lepaslah. I have my dearest sayang now. I dont need anyone else.

= D