Bulan pertama dan kedua budak bertuah masuk sekolah, demam dan selsema tu perkara biasa. Couple visit to the doctors. Then pergi jupe Paed.

Paed,

: How many child do you have?

Me,

(thinking)

: Err.. One. Yes. Just him at the moment.

It’s take a while to say and absorb that you only have one kid at the very moment. Bila orang tanya, terus jadi blur. Walhal  memang ada seorang je setakat ni. It’s kinda a big hit to my mind too. It’s like, Hahhhhh! Gua memang ada anak seorang je ehh?!.

Of course budak bertuah got all our attention, undivided love and unlimited marah. Hahahaha. Takdenya nak marah sungguh-sungguh because at the end of the very moment, you’ll hug and kiss him. Itulah intan payung and itulah juga yang bagi darah naik. And I keep telling myself, let him enjoy what he wants to do now, because mommy already plan something for him. Hahahahaha. Yessss. Ada anak seorang, membuatkan you’ve planned ahead for him. You want to make him to be the most succesful kaya bergaya berjaya beriman beramal bertaqwa person. There’s no second option just one option and it’s a must.

I sound like those evil stepmothers kan.

A friend of mine has to be a doctor just because his parents dah decided, anak yang ni jadi engineer, anak yang ni jadi doctor and anak yang ni jadi lawyer. Anak dia turn out boleh jadi doctor or not, the parents dont care as money can solved everything. They can hire private tutors and send the child to the good medical school.

Ada anak ramai boleh lah atur semua kerja, I ada satu je sekarang ni, so, I’ve my plan too. Hahaha.

I’ve told my husband about what I want. Where I want the kecik studying in the future. What language he’s going to speak. How I want him to have all those skills in life and all. And what’s his going to be in the future. Then my husband said,

: Okay. Tapi kalau ikutkan orang, orang biar je dia pilih dia nak jadi apa.

My answer.

: Orang pun. Ikut suka dia lah nanti dia nak buat business ke, apa ke, tapi he must get and be like the one I want first. Lepas dapat, ikut you lah. As long as I know, I’ve prepared him for the world.

Sometimes it’s sucks to have only kid but it can be fun too. I’ve giving up my hopes to have another baby. I mean, no more sedih kecewa and frust menonggeng when you’ve missed your period, ingat pregnant, rupanya lambat je. It’s so frustrating you now. If ada the next one, adalah. If tak ada, just be grateful with what I have now. So, I must not thinking about pregnancy to get pregnant again. Do you understand me?

I’m too waiting for the next one till I forgot I have one. I should be more thankful with Allah SWT, feel the blessings more and enjoy life much. That’s why I went gaga over heels again and re-stocking my handbags. And enjoying every single moment being a mother of one (for now).

I know people will keep asking about kids and I’ll just assuming that they’re just ‘sekadar berbasa-basi’. Sekadar cari intro to start a conversation.

Marriage taught me one thing about having babies. You can have sex all the time you want but it’s not guarantee that you can get pregnant and you just need to have one sex to have a baby, if Allah said so.

It’s not easy to get pregnant.

Respect to the mothers of many, mothers of one and wife-not-yet-a-mother.

xx