Lama dah tak tengok perkataan tu. Selalunya relax melampau, now, I slept less than 4 hours daily, for almost one week by now.

Tadi je I rasa macam high pun ada. Ngantuk sungguh-sungguh. Ni pun rasa esok macam tak sempat je. Rasa macam time limit giler.

The kecik been asking from me to go to visit his late cousin, arwah Khalid. Finally touch down after 2 hours delay. Dalam flight tidur aje. Hahaha. Bukan lama pun. I sedar-mamai pun bila orang sebelah I tu duk komplen, lapar (itu sebelum boarding), dah boarding, bantai tidur.

Lepas tu kata bila minta nasi lemak, maggi je ada. Hahaha. At that time, tidur sounds wayyy better than maggi. Walhal sebelum tu dah rasa dah nak mkn maggi. Ini lah dia bila tidur pukul 4, bangun kul 5 lebih. Lepas tu berjalan sakan, berpeluh bau sampai macam kambing gurun yang extra busuk. Hahaha.

This morning, before I went to pick up the kecik, I pergi kubur arwah Khalid dulu. Sebak. No need to say more kot.. Tambah sebak bila Im kata, ‘Haa, tu seat adik duduk tu seat arwah duduk lah dulu tu’. Cover perasaan sendiri, and to cheer Im a bit, I terus jawab, ‘Ye lah, tu kan anak sedara kesayangan adik’. Memang arwah always and will always be my fav nephew. Siapa tak sayang arwah Khalid? Meh maksu sekeh sket. Hahaha.

Kak Yanti ok sket. It’s just Im lah, maybe he needs more time more than anyone else. Semua orang teringat, semua orang sayang, tapi Im tu I rasa lebih sket.. Teman tidur dia, dah takde, so, it’s take time to adjust the feeling.

Lepas tu, balik, mandi balik, and off to pick up budak bertuah. Hari ini dalam sejarah bila, pukul 3 pagi I mandi (lepas touch down and sampai rumah) then pukul 7 pagi sekali lagi mandi and lepas balik kubur, lagi sekali. Less than 10 hours, I mandi 3 kali. Extra wangi tau I hari ni, takde dah bau kambing gurun. Haha.

Lepas the kecik dah masuk dalam kereta, suddenly he told me,

: Mommy, thauffiee nak gi tengok Khalid meninggal.

: Hah?

: Nak gi tengok Khalid meninggal.. Sakit..

Sayu je suara budak bertuah tu. And I told him, ‘Mommy baru je balik tengok Khalid, nanti esok lah ye’. And the kecik kept insisting to go and visit his late cousin. I bodek apa ntah masa tengah drive tu, budak bertuah tu dah tak sebut nak gi tengok his late cousin.

Tapi, time sampai je dekat roundabout before Abg Isa’s place, the kecik asked me again,

: Bila nak gi tengok Khalid meninggal? Gi sekarang lah mommyyyy. Thaauffiee nak tengok Khalid meninggal.

And he almost crying there.

Anak nak nangis, mommy dia dah sebak dah.

Mak will be home to Kg Raja on Friday morning, at 8am. Tadi I kata nanti jumpa lagi lah before mak balik tu. Tapi takut tak sempat je. Haritu nak belikan mak tiket flight, she refused, nak juga naik bus. I think she wants some alone time by her own before reaching home. Too many things happened lately.. Sigh. Sampai I rasa macam tak nak balik lagi, tahu tak? Takut tak sempat nak hantar Mak balik Kg Raja tomorrow morning, tapi rasanya memang nak kena bangun awal pagi, redah highway and make it jugak lah. Sebab the kecik dah nangis-nangis nak suruh bawa dia gi tengok kubur arwah Khalid.

Kita tengoklah esok, the kecik tu bangun pukul berapa. If awal, I redah jalan, send Mak to bus station, perhaps angkut anak bongsu Cik Esah sekali sebab anak kepada nanny Cik Esah tu kena chicken pox. Takde sape nak jaga Ammar, maybe I took over kejap before lunch hour tu. Tak tau lagi. Kita tengok pagi esok.

Maybe if gi hantar Mak esok, I ajak Im and Kak Yanti gi visit arwah lagi. We’ll see lah tomorrow. I takut I terlajak tidur pun ada. Tadi I terlelap sekejap je, tapi I still bangun and mumbling like crazy woman. Mengong pun ada rasa.

Dengan harapan I sempat jumpa Mak before balik esok, and gi kubur arwah with budak bertuah then settle kan few things. I ada berlambakkk lagi benda yang belum siap lagi. Squeezing time like mad. Kang kalau tak balik, I miss my bantal peluk already. Dah lah pasangan mandi babel takdok dah, now I nak peluk sapeeeee. Hahaha.

Have a great weekend people.

Love.